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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Surprise!



I decided to make a surprise appearance at my old haunt tonight! They were having their annual Cabaret They said "come in costume" so I did! Oh, those partiers! What fun we had! I don't understand why they all started screaming "I'm melting, I'm melting" and ran for their cars. Guess the party ended early....

Hey, don't drink and fly! Be safe out there!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tuesday Tongue Twister



How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?

from "Calvin & Hobbes", by Bill Waterson

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Two monkeys appointed station masters at Japanese train station

By Danielle Demetriou in Tokyo

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01741/Hojo-cho_1741921c.jpg

Nehime and Rakan, two baby monkeys, have started "working" at Hojo-cho station in Hyoto prefecture in a bid to attract more visitors to the line.
The monkeys, aged seven months and three months, were dressed in blue uniforms made from traditional local fabrics complete with mini hats before being formally appointed station masters and "special city residents" by the local mayor.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

D'oh

Tony Blair, Newt Gingrich, and now Homer Simpson a Catholic?

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – "The Simpsons" just got a blessing from the Vatican.
The official Vatican newspaper has declared that beer-swilling, doughnut-loving Homer Simpson and son Bart are Catholics -- and what's more, it says that parents should not be afraid to let their children watch "the adventures of the little guys in yellow."

"Few people know it, and he does everything to hide it. But it's true: Homer J. Simpson is Catholic", the Osservatore Romano newspaper said in an article on Sunday headlined "Homer and Bart are Catholics."

The newspaper cited a study by a Jesuit priest of a 2005 episode of the show called "The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star". That study concludes that "The Simpsons" is "among the few TV programs for kids in which Christian faith, religion and questions about God are recurrent themes."

The Simpsons pray before meals, and "in its own way, believes in the beyond," the newspaper quoted the Jesuit study as saying.

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Hump Day Haiku



A virtue called patience
Helped my aunt today
Install new computer
She is eighty-five

Dust in the wind
Cousin died last night
Another got a transplant
Both joy and sorrow

Really?
Hate the computer
emotions don't translate well
mostly sarcasm

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sir Roger Moore`s trouble with foreign doctors


"According to UK newspaper Daily Express, he said: 'The language barrier is often problematic but we seem to muddle through. When I've been travelling or on a film location and needed a doctor, I'm always apprehensive when they don't speak English and produce a huge syringe."

Friday, October 15, 2010

Sound of Crickets Chirping

Whip these out for that next WebEx meeting after you ask for feedback on your new proposal! Fill that awkward 7:00 a.m. conference call silence once and for all!

Sounds of crickets chirpingfrom all over the world! Dazzle your international clients!

Fear of elves made Montreal man get powerful guns



The Canadian Press

MONTREAL — A man charged with uttering death threats on Facebook armed himself with high-powered weapons because he feared he was being stalked by elves, a Montreal court was told Wednesday.

Quebec provincial police told David Abitbol's bail hearing that he told a friend on the Internet that his .12-gauge shotgun was just what he needed to kill the mythical creatures..

Sgt. Mathieu Bouliane, a Quebec provincial police investigator, read numerous messages Abitbol had written to correspondents on the Internet in which he said he repeatedly saw and heard elves at home and in stores.

At one point, after hearing static on his office walkie-talkie, he complained the elves had followed him there and he would quit if they showed up again...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Hump Day Haiku



Welcome Fall
It's the great pumpkin
Sun low on the horizon
Welcome short, dark days

We are Catholics
Smells, bells and statues
Vestments, altars and incense
Seven sacraments

What's it all about, Alfie?
Everyone's insane
except you and me, I believe;
except you and me

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Cigar Guy Unmasked

More Chicken Nugget Horror

A follow-up to Vincenzo's alarming post on the chicken nugget pink goo!

A magazine I get as part of my gym membership had this timely "Anatomy of a Chicken Nugget"article. They spared us the pink goo photo but it has some pretty alarming information.

New Zealand TV host resigns over Indian race row

New Zealand television host Paul Henry has resigned after provoking public outrage over his on-air comments about Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit.


He laughed a number of times as he mispronounced the surname, which sounds closer to "Dixit" in English.
Indian officials condemned the remarks as "racist and bigoted"...

India's foreign ministry summoned the New Zealand high commissioner last week to register a formal protest.
New Zealand's government has apologised for the remarks, describing them as "culturally insensitive and vulgar".

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/49405000/jpg/_49405137_sheiladikshitgetty304.jpgSheila Dikshit is overseeing arrangements for the Commonwealth Games in Delhi, which have been beset by problems. She brushed off Mr Henry's remarks but said they were "not appropriate".
Announcing his resignation, Mr Henry said it was "no longer practical in the current environment for me to do the job".

He added: "I am astonished and dismayed that my comments have created a diplomatic incident. My style is conversational and of course unscripted. I walk the finest of lines and accept that I have inadvertently crossed it from time to time."

Prime Minister John Key said the whole episode was "sad and regrettable" but his resignation should bring "closure".

The chief executive of TVNZ, Rick Ellis, commended Mr Henry's decision to resign, saying his comments split the community and damaged New Zealand's international relationships...

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Sobran and such



I know I'm behind a bit on news, but I recently heard that Joe Sobran died.

Back when I was working for a "big aerospace giant," I had a kindly boss. Kindly might not be a good word for an ex-Vietnam chopper pilot who survived two tours, more like tough on the outside and jagged around the edges. But, for the short time I worked with him, he was like my father - the father who was half the country away from me and whom I missed dearly. The father who swore more in one sentence than I could in a lifetime and whose protective arm I could always feel.

My boss and my father had many things in common, more than just their bearing and confidence; they both read the Wanderer.

I can't say I followed Joe Sobran's column, but his death makes me sad since it makes me wonder about my old boss, thoughts that are quickly followed by remembrances of my father.

One thing I learned from my boss was to never complain about my spouse. In jest, I made a joke that was pointed at my husband. I was quickly chastised and told how unbecoming it is no matter what the situation. It's been 20 years, but I still feel that stinging correction. I took it to heart then and still do.

So, Don, I hope you're doing well and Garbage Boy is standing on his own two feet and Dish Girl is happily married.

And, rest in peace, Mr. Sobran, you will be missed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ann Coulter
World's Greatest Writer

My friend Joe Sobran died last Thursday, and the world lost its greatest writer.

To my delight, some obituaries noted that he had influenced my writing style. I only wish I had known he was so close to the end so I could have seen him again to let him influence me some more.

The G.K. Chesterton of our time, Joe could deliver a knockout punch with a single line. Many of his aphorisms were so catchy that everyone repeats them now without realizing their provenance.

It was Joe who came up with the apocryphal New York Times headline: "New York Destroyed by Earthquake; Women and Minorities Hit Hardest."

Joe created the phrase "strange new respect" to describe the sudden warm admiration the media have for any conservative who becomes a liberal.

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Monday, October 4, 2010

Monkey Man



For Vincenzo! A truly insane live version of "Monkey Man" by The Specials. The Specials remains one of my all-time favorite albums and the original live version was on that album.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Chicken Nuggets Are Made From This Pink Goop

Chicken Nuggets Are Made From This Pink Goop

From Gizmodo:
This is mechanically separated chicken. Chickens are turned into this goop so we can create delicious chicken nuggets and juicy chicken patties. It's obscenely gross and borderline alien but it's not going to stop me from eating nuggets. They're too good.

The process works a little something like this:
There's more: because it's crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color...

Game Face vs. Jumbo Screen Face


Friday, October 1, 2010

Rosie O'Donnell's Crazy Check


Oprah supposedly gave Rosie a crazy check to see if she could handle a talk show on Oprah's OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network-get it!?)

I wonder who Rosie got to take the test for her? What happened to peeing in a cup?